over achievers

I know exactly how bad it feels when you are going out with an over achievers.
Especially that person is your next of kin.
Most are my cousins are over achievers.
They work and study overseas, as professionals.
Like real professionals.
Not those ordinary one.

I know how bad my brother feels.
but I wanna tell you kor,
I never look down on you.
you are doing your best,
and you have been growing a lot through out these days.
I know you have been doing hard to be a good brother.

i love you kor!

其实我真的不是很能忍，但我知道起码你不要太过分，我还是ok的。
我会很尊重你的，如果你也尊重我的话。
你过分一次我可以忍，两次也还ok,
三次我会不爽你，第四次我就不会给脸你了。

以牙还牙这个东西，耶稣说不好。
他说人家打了我们左边脸，
就要连右边也伸出来给他打。
可是啊，他两边都打了，
又在打左边，然后又打右边，无止尽地打，
我受不了啊，我忍耐也有险啊！！
耶稣说他原谅了我们七十个七次，
相对的我们只原谅了人七次。
所以我想进步，放下心结，去原谅人更多次。
我也想要积躲点口德，
虽然很不愉快，不爽，不甘愿，
但还是希望能做得到。

但我发现更难的是面对自己，原谅自己。
我需要勇气踏出去。
放下面子去道歉，去说对不起这三个字。
即使知道错的不是我，
或许是我，但不完全是我的错，
我也要学习成为先说对不起的那一个。

Denial

When I laugh happily,

it doesn't mean that I'm happy.

It just that i'm in the state of denial,

don't wanna accept the fact that I'm sad.

When I choose not to say, 

It doesn't mean I do not know,

It just that I'm in the state of denial,

don't want to accept the fact that I know.

It's okay, It just feel bad when I'm the last one to know these news about you,
from the mouth of other people.
But i'll be fine after that.
If i stop thinking about how close we were in the past.
It was the memories that makes me feel bad.
Not what's happening now.
What's happening now wont be meaningful,
if the past does not exist.
It's all because of the past the present become meaningful.

That awkward moment when we could talk, smile and laugh together again,

In that small small cubicle, for that 2 hours, 

when everything in the past seems to reappear,
and then everything is back to present again.

Maybe you do not care about it anymore,
but you are the most familiar stranger to me.

I don't know what to say, but just congratulations to you.

Maybe I'm not the special friend to you anymore.

But I know when someone ask me, 

I will tell he/she that you were once my best friend,

although we are not anymore.

It was you who gave me the light,

and It was you who brought down my pride too.

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I'm Fat.

I know I'm fat.
Don't have to remind me on that.
I'm putting effort in slimming down.
Thanks for the reminder.